Habit, Not Hack: Nurturing Strengths and Accepting Weaknesses

Self‑awareness means knowing what you’re good at and also what you’re not.

When Roman started his PhD, he was surrounded by students who seemed like “complete researchers.”

One labmate was a coding wizard.
Another could troubleshoot any assay.
Another spoke fluently at every journal club.

Roman, by contrast, always felt average.

He wasn’t the fastest at experiments.
His statistics were rusty.
And he hated presenting in front of crowds.

But there was one thing he loved: writing.

Every time his group mates struggled to craft abstracts, write grant statements, or draft papers, Roman found himself offering to help.
He could turn scattered bullet points into clean narratives.
He could clarify arguments and tighten messy sections.

At first, he worried he was just “being helpful,” not building a real skill. Writing didn’t feel like a technical strength.

His turning point came during his second year, when the lab was scrambling to submit a major grant. His PI asked:

“Roman, would you mind helping organize the specific aims section?”

He ended up restructuring multiple parts of the proposal. The grant scored highly and was funded on first submission.

That’s when his PI said something he hadn’t expected:

“Your writing is a huge asset to this lab.”

From then on, Roman started to own his strength.

• He offered to co-write papers early in the drafting process.

• He led the lab’s internal writing workshops.

• He became known across departments as someone who could sharpen arguments and help others structure their proposals.

At the same time, Roman recognized the weaknesses he didn’t need to torture himself over.

• He learned basic coding but didn’t aim for mastery.

• He partnered with labmates who excelled in statistical modeling.

• He took professional development workshops on science communication, doubling down on what made him unique.

By him fourth year, he had co-authored multiple papers, won writing-based fellowships, and built a professional network far stronger than if he’d tried to “fix everything.”

His breakthrough wasn’t becoming well-rounded.
It was becoming strategically lopsided.

He didn’t try to be great at everything.
He focused on being excellent at what mattered most and surrounded himself with people who complemented him gaps.

Like Roman, many grad students build an internal checklist of weaknesses to fix, as if success means becoming perfectly well-rounded.

When I started grad school, I thought I had to fix everything I was “bad” at.
Not a great public speaker? Work on it.
Not fast at coding? Master it.
Not the most outgoing at conferences? Force it.

It took me years to learn that’s not how expertise works.

The Problem: The Myth of Perfect Balance

Academia rewards strengths - deep expertise, unique skillsets, niche knowledge. Yet somehow, many of us internalize the idea that being well-rounded means being equally strong at everything.

But chasing constant self-fixing is exhausting. It leaves you chasing an impossible ideal instead of building leverage on what you do well.

The goal isn’t to eliminate all weaknesses. The goal is to double down on strengths while managing weaknesses smartly.

The Habit: Play to Strengths, Manage Weaknesses Proactively

1. Know Your Edge

Spend time identifying what you naturally do well:

• Do you write clearly and fast?

• Are you great at data visualization?

• Do you explain complex ideas simply?

• Are you a connector, bringing collaborators together?

These are leverage points. They’re the skills that will quietly open doors if you invest in them.

2. Manage, Don’t Obsess Over Weaknesses

Instead of fixating on being “bad” at something, reframe weaknesses as growth signals:

• Does this gap truly limit my core goals?

• Can I collaborate, outsource, or get functional competence instead of mastery?

• Is this a skill where I can seek coaching, feedback, or mentorship to improve just enough?

Being coachable matters more than being flawless.
Sometimes “good enough, with guidance, is exactly enough.”

3. Reframe Weaknesses as Signals

Weaknesses aren’t personal flaws. They’re feedback.

• Struggling with speaking? Maybe you’re better one-on-one.

• Slow with stats? Maybe you excel in hypothesis design or literature synthesis.

• Hate solo work? Maybe you shine in collaborative projects.

Use that information to design work that fits your profile.

Why This Habit Matters

The people who thrive aren’t flawless. They’re self-aware. They know when to lean in, when to ask for help, and when not to waste emotional energy.

You don’t get extra credit for suffering through weaknesses unnecessarily.

Try This: Strengths Audit

1. Write down 3 things you’re naturally good at.
2. Write down 2 areas where you feel weak or anxious.
3.  For each weakness, ask:

• Does it truly block my progress?

• Can I collaborate or compensate for it?

• Is this something I actually need to master right now?

Use your answers to guide you where you invest your limited time and energy.

Self-improvement is great. But endless self-fixing leads to burnout.

You don’t need to be excellent at everything.

You need to be excellent enough at the right things and surround yourself with people who complement you.

That’s not a hack. That’s a habit.

✨ Want to take this habit even further?
Check out the GradLab Compass Individual Development Plan, a printable tool designed to help researchers and students reflect, recognize their strengths and growth areas, and take purposeful action, one intentional step at a time.