Habit, Not Hack: MMM — Make Meetings Matter (PI Edition)

The meeting isn’t for performance - it’s for connection, calibration, and clarity.

No one taught me how to “do” meetings as an advisor. They just… happened.
The student shows up. I ask how things are going. They say “fine.” I toss out a few ideas. They nod, scribble notes. Then we both log off and move on, without knowing what actually stuck.

Sometimes I’d realize weeks later that they misunderstood a core piece of feedback, or worse, they felt too intimidated to ask for clarification.

The truth is: meetings aren’t just routine check-ins. They’re where mentoring actually happens.

The Mistake Most Advisors Make

We assume the student knows how to use a meeting.
We assume our feedback was heard, our tone was clear, our expectations understood.
We assume… and then we’re surprised when things stall, disconnect, or derail.

But meetings aren’t one-way info dumps. They’re high-leverage moments for mutual alignment, especially in environments where most communication is async, rushed, or emotionally loaded.

The Habit: MMM - Make Meetings Matter

What changed my advising wasn’t a new scheduling tool. It was this habit: I stopped winging it, and I started being intentional - before, during, and after every meeting.

Here’s the framework I use now:

Before the Meeting: Set the Stage

Ask yourself:

• What would make this meeting a win for them and for me?

• What do I want clarity on? What should they walk away knowing or doing?

• Is there anything I’ve been assuming they know, but haven’t said out loud?

Then prep:

1. One key topic you want to check in on (progress, roadblocks, wellbeing)

2. One question to draw them out:

“What’s been unclear or frustrating lately?”

1. One invitation to advocate for themselves:

“Is there anything you wish we did differently in our meetings?”

During the Meeting: Co-Create Clarity

• Slow down. Don’t just review. Invite reflection.

• Use open questions:

“How are you feeling about this stage of the work?”
“What’s one area where you’re feeling stuck or unsure?”

• Summarize what you’ve agreed on and confirm:

“So just to recap, you’ll send the draft by Friday, and I’ll give feedback by next Tuesday. Sound good?”

After the Meeting: Reinforce the Signal

Within a day, do a quick follow-up:

• A 2–3 line email recap:

“Thanks for the check-in today, just confirming we’re aligned on X, Y, and Z. Let me know if I missed anything.”

• Add a note to your calendar or student file: what they’re working on, what they need, and any concerns to revisit.

It shows respect. It builds structure. And it dramatically cuts down on “I thought you meant…” moments.

Why This Habit Matters

Because mentoring isn’t a download. It’s a dialogue.
Meetings are where we model how to think, not just what to do.
They’re how we normalize feedback, encourage initiative, and spot burnout early.

The best mentors aren’t the ones who talk the most.
They’re the ones who create a space where the right conversations happen.

Try This: Your Next Meeting Checklist

1. Before:
   • 1 check-in goal
   • 1 open-ended question
   • 1 area to clarify or align

2. During:
   • Invite reflection
   • Confirm decisions + timelines

3. After:
   • Recap in 3 lines or less
   • Set next touchpoint

A Note for the Busy (and Tired)

You don’t need to run a perfect meeting.
You just need to be present, prepared, and willing to ask one extra question.

That’s not a hack.
That’s a habit.