Habit, Not Hack: Asking Questions (Mentor)

The best questions don't show off what you know. They reveal what you're still eager to learn.

Let's be honest. We've all whispered a question to a colleague after a talk and then said nothing during the actual Q&A.

But if you're a PI or mentor, staying silent sends a message — that questions are risky, that curiosity is private, that uncertainty is something we keep to ourselves.

In reality, the best science thrives on the exact opposite.

If you want your trainees to ask better questions, you don't need to lecture them. You need to model the habit.

Why It Matters

Many students don't ask questions because they think it has to be brilliant, they fear judgment, or they've only ever seen professors ask questions to challenge — not to learn.

When you ask thoughtful, grounded, or even clarifying questions in public settings, you normalize what science is supposed to be: a dialogue, not a performance.

That shift starts with you.

First, a Word on What Not to Do

There's a version of public questioning that does the opposite of what we want.

The PI who asks questions to demonstrate they've read more than the speaker has isn't modeling curiosity. They're modeling competition. The PI who interrupts to correct, reframe, or redirect isn't opening the floor — they're closing it.

And your trainees are watching all of it.

Every question you ask in public teaches your lab something about what questions are for. Make sure what you're teaching is worth learning.

The Habit: Asking Well

1. Ask in Every Seminar — Yes, Even the Ones Outside Your Field

Show your trainees that curiosity doesn't require mastery. Ask "outsider" questions with confidence:

"I'm not in your field, but I'm curious — could this mechanism apply to X?"

"I wasn't familiar with that assay — could you say more about how it works?"

When you ask to understand rather than to impress, you give your trainees permission to do the same.

2. Use Your Credibility as a Gift to the Room

Here's something your trainees don't have yet: enough standing that a simple question from you signals safety, not ignorance.

When a PI asks a clarifying question — especially a basic one — it tells every junior person in the room that it's okay not to know everything. That curiosity is welcome here. That the goal is understanding, not performance.

You have that power. Use it deliberately.

"I just want to make sure I understood that correctly — are you saying that…?"

That one sentence can change what a first-year student feels comfortable asking for the rest of their PhD.

3. Narrate Your Curiosity

In lab meetings or journal clubs, say things out loud:

"Here's what I don't quite get yet…"

"I'd love to know what their rationale was here…"

"Let's come up with a few questions we'd ask the author if they were in the room."

This helps trainees see how questions evolve from observation — not just critique. It demystifies the process and makes intellectual humility visible.

4. If Public Questioning Doesn't Come Naturally to You

Not every PI is a natural at asking questions in public. Some find seminars draining. Some worry their questions won't land well. Some are still carrying their own fear of judgment from their trainee years.

That's worth acknowledging — because it's more common than the culture admits.

If this is you, start small. Write one question down before the seminar starts. Commit to asking it regardless of how the talk goes. You don't need it to be brilliant — you need it to be genuine.

You're not just practicing for yourself. You're practicing for your lab. And every time you ask imperfectly but honestly, you make it a little safer for your trainees to do the same.

Mentorship in Action: Teaching Them to Ask for What They Need

Beyond seminars, trainees also struggle to ask for feedback, resources like protocols or reagents, clarification in meetings, and support when they're overwhelmed. As a PI, you can change that.

Make asking normal. Tell them directly: "Don't wait until things break — ask early and often." Then mean it when they do.

Demystify professional requests. Walk them through how to write a polite, direct email to a collaborator:

"Hi Dr. X, I found your paper on [topic] really insightful. Would you be willing to share your protocol for [method]?"

Most people are glad to help when asked clearly and respectfully. Your trainees don't know that yet — show them.

Be honest about your own asks. Share a story about a time you asked for a reagent, advice, or help from someone you admired — and what happened. Whether it worked out or not, the story matters. It shows them that even experienced scientists ask, and that asking is how science actually moves forward.

PI Habit Reflection

After your next seminar or lab meeting, ask yourself:

• Did I ask a question out loud — genuinely and respectfully?

• Did I model curiosity over competition?

• Did I create space for my trainees to do the same?

• Did I use my credibility to make the room safer, or to make myself look smarter?

Be the scientist who doesn't just know the answers. Be the one who keeps asking the right questions — out loud and in public.

That's not a hack. That's a habit.

✨ Want to take this habit further? The GradLab Compass Habit Toolkit includes Communication, Boundaries & Professionalism tools designed to help you ask defining questions and navigate difficult conversations with clarity.

Stories are fictionalized or composite narratives, created to illustrate common challenges and patterns in research life. They are intended for educational and reflective purposes and do not represent any specific individual or institution.